I must say, whenever I hear this song, I get so excited for the day that I look back and see how the pieces of my life have fallen together. I may not see it all now, but God has a plan and is using every aspect of my life and each circumstance/experience to build me toward a future He has planned. I know the day will come when I look back and see how it all lead my to….this.
So if it is okay with you, I would like to tell you a little bit about this weekend, but not in the traditional sense…Yes, I had an awesome weekend. I worked a concert, saw a great new movie and experienced a Seattle sporting victory-all while having a blast with various friends….but the weekend was so much more than that! It is so hard to put into words, but I am going to give it my best shot, bear with me.
When I got home late Sunday evening, I felt, well…different- but in a very good way, I assure you! Through everything that had happened over the weekend I felt like God had reached inside me and flipped a switch. It was as though so much of what I have been carrying around had fallen away. I have internalized various feelings, thoughts and emotions that are now gone. To be honest, I felt like Christian in Pilgrims Progress, when he stands at “the place of deliverance.” Essentially, he comes to cross and when the shadow passes over him, the straps of his burden break, and the burden rolls away.
This is really the best way I can try to describe the feeling: it is like my burden has fallen completely away…it is like God reached down and cut it free. As I mentioned above, it is also like a switch inside me has been flipped. I feel my hope in the future restored and my sights completely realigned on Christ and the path He has set before me. Now I am not saying that I was not focused on Christ before, but now I feel it alive inside of me. I have true hope and joy for the future and have been able to let go of so much.
The saying goes “time heals all wounds” but I raise a counter “God heals all wounds…in His time.” Sometimes it takes longer than others, but for the first time in a while, I feel healed of so much. I felt God speaking to me last night, and I now see that I am where He wants me to be in this moment. He healed me in His timing, not mine. He truly does make all things work together for my good.
I may not be totally sure what the future will hold, but I am confident in the plans the Lord has…all He asks is for me to be obedient and to trust and hope in Him…and I do! This weekend was good in so many ways (look out for another post to come soon!!) but for this I am the most thankful. Through the experiences and friends of the weekend, I truly felt God move and act…how great of a feeling is that!
What do you need to turn over to God and give Him a chance to completely heal? I promise you, the outcome will surprise you!
When we look at our lives, we are often faced with the “should haves.” You know what I mean, the things you wish you had done because it may have just happened to change the course of our lives. But for one reason or another, we did not do them…and they became “should haves.”
When I started thinking about this idea of “should haves,” I tried to think of some examples from my life. Here are a couple things that sometimes I think about, and I wonder: how would my life be different if any of these were on my “done” list, rather than my “should have” list.
- Should have been been more involved at Cornell, especially since I was blessed to have a Christian roommate
- Should have gone on roomies freshmen year
- Should have gone back to Mexico, or gone on another missions trip
- Should have gotten on the 4:00 Am ferry
- Should have gone to China to study
- And in some cases, it’s as simple as: should have said yes/no
But here is the thing…no matter what we have or have not done, we are where we are in life because of it. Every time I start to think about these, or other “should haves” I remember something powerful: God has a plan for me and although I do not know what it may be, I know it will be great. As people, we are naturally flawed, and we often think this gets in the way of God’s plan for us. But, I assure you, God has a plan for each and every one of us.
So although we may think of the “should haves” and wish we could go back, remember that because of them, you are who you are today. And if you are not who you want to be, remember that life is a journey and you are getting closer to who you are meant to be. You cannot change the “should haves” in your life, you can only look forward and take advantage of the times to come.
On a different note, whenever I think of “should haves” I always think of this song. Brings back great memories of the RlazyS Ranch, that’s for sure!
For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosperyou and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. I will be found by you,” declares the Lord, “and will bring you back from captivity.
Jeremiah 29 11-14
This is the verse that gives me strength each day and helps me hold tight to the promise that God has a plan in store for me, even if I do not fully know what it may be!
Well, I have now been a SPU alum for one year. Almost exactly a year ago (rounded by a couple hours) I heard my name being called and I walked across the stage to receive my undergraduate diploma. And what a year it has been indeed! If you were to go back in time and tell me everything that was going to happen in the next year, there is no way I would have believed you.
If you have been reading this blog for any amount of time, I hope you can see some of the twists and turns my life has taken; the last year has been a roller coaster for sure. But no matter what may have happened, life continued on and I am now where I am. That does not mean I do not have any regrets, cause I may, but I try to learn to live with them. From jobs to dating to school to other decisions it definitely been a full year.
However, through everything I choose to trust in God and that He has a plan for me and my life. While I may not have any idea of that plan, I still choose to trust Him. I look forward to the day that I look back and see how all the pieces have fallen into place…some day.
Well, that is really all I had to say…one year down as an alumni…hopefully many more to come!
Congratulations to the graduation class of 2012. To my friends who graduated from high school, college, and graduate school, please know that I am so proud of you and this momentous occasion. You are now starting a new chapter of your life, I hope and pray you take full advantage of all the opportunities that come your way. Remember the great times you had and look forward to the times in store. It may not be the easiest, but I know you will pull through and will succeed through the strength and perseverance that God can provide.